


Veronica Sawyer and the Disappointing Hookup

by notaguitarfret, thewishingdragon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Sex, Enthusiastic Consent, F/F, Oral Sex, Sex Education, disappointing sexual encounter, technically both, the american sex education fails either Veronica or Heather
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaguitarfret/pseuds/notaguitarfret, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewishingdragon/pseuds/thewishingdragon
Summary: And, she faked it. Every single time.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	Veronica Sawyer and the Disappointing Hookup

Veronica grunted as she climbed the tree outside Heather’s bedroom window. After the absolute _disaster_ that was tonight’s party, and an argument with Heather Chandler that couldn’t have gone worse, Veronica needed _some_ way to reverse some of the damage. She figured waiting for Monday to come was a terrible idea, so she might as well try and come up with some sort of apology while the two of them still had some left over alcohol in their system.

She managed to climb the tree without much trouble, and shimmied across one of the branches to the roof easily.

Now to get in without seriously injuring herself.

She pondered for a moment on how she should go about this. Should she try and lean over to pick the lock first and risk leaning too far, or should she hop onto the window sill and make it much easier to open, but much more likely for her to fall? Choices, choices, choices.

Steeling herself, she mustered her courage to jump towards the window, hopping onto the roof and flailing her arms as she tried to balance herself without slipping off the roof tiles.

“Okay, that’s step one,” Veronica muttered to herself, “Now I just need to get _in.”_

Carefully, she knelt down on top of the roof and started examining the lock, trying to figure out how to get past it. Before she could think much on the subject, however, the window opened.

 _“Jesus Christ!”_ an exclamation from Heather almost sent Veronica toppling off of the roof from surprise. “What the hell?”

“Fuck!” Veronica grabbed the window sill to help her keep her balance, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What in the ever-living _fuck_ are you doing here, about to break into my fucking house, no less?” Heather berated. “I didn’t think you’d have the guts to show your face around me until we graduate.” 

Veronica sighed. “I came here to talk to you.”

“You have a great way of doing it,” she sneered. “You couldn’t have knocked like a normal person?”

“If I had done that, you would have slammed the door in my face,” Veronica said.

“Yeah. I can slam this window on your face too.” She grabbed the window handle, about to pull it shut, but Veronica boldly (stupidly) put her hand in the way of it and the lock.

“Wait!”

Heather leered at her, slowly letting go of the window. “This had better be worth my time, Sawyer.”

“It will be… just, um…” She shuffled away from the edge. “Could you let me in first?”

Rolling her eyes, Heather opened the window wider, allowing Veronica to tumble through it onto the floor. She couldn’t have been more ungraceful. Blowing her mess of hair out of her face, she glanced up at Heather, who was glowering down at her like the menacing, evil, _incredibly attractive_ demon that she was- wait, what?

 _Is it really that surprising?_ she thought to herself. _I mean, from this angle, I can basically see all the way up that skirt._ Granted, she knew that was an incredibly invasive thing to do, and so she averted her gaze, but then she was just met with those long legs that the short skirt she wore failed to cover.

“You gonna get up?” Heather growled. “Or are you just going to continue to gawk at me?”

Veronica snapped her head up at her, scrambling onto her feet.

“I- I wasn’t gawking!” she protested.

Heather rolled her eyes. “Veronica, people gawk at me enough that I know what it looks like. Trust me, you were gawking.”

Veronica looked at the floor, feeling herself grow warm with embarrassment, until Heather just scoffed.

“Oh, quit acting like I caught you committing a crime, Veronica. I’m perfectly fine with people drooling all over me.” She grinned as she sat down on the edge of her bed and crossed one long leg over the other. “Makes it easier to control them.”

Veronica raised a brow at her. “Oh, so it’s control you’re looking for?”

“I rule the school with an iron fist,” Heather scoffed, “Of _course_ I want control.”

“And you see literally anyone - regardless of their gender - gawking over you and view it as a means of doing so?”

Heather smiled then, a dangerous thing that sent a shiver up Veronica’s spine. “Why are you asking? _Interested?”_

“I-” Veronica stammered as Heather stood up, stalking towards her as though she were a piece of prey. “I technically came here to apologise, but, um-” Heather stopped inches away from her, leaning over to plant chaste kisses up her neck, making her bite back a whine. “This… this is also good.”

Heather chuckled dangerously next to her ear, her words coming out in a purr. “Perhaps I’ll _consider_ going easy on you after this. How does that sound, Sawyer?”

“I will agree to literally anything if you ask me in that tone of voice,” Veronica said. Heather leaned back purely to smirk at her.

“That’s a dangerous thing to promise someone like me, Veronica.”

“I think you’ll find I have a taste for danger,” Veronica retorted.

“Is that so?” Heather cocked her head to the side, and Veronica was so entranced by her enthralling grin that she hardly noticed her undoing the buttons of her blazer. “Well then, you’ve come to the right place.”

“I certainly hope I have,” Veronica said, shuddering as the blazer slid off her shoulders, Heather’s long nails running over bare skin as she pushed her sleeves off her arms. The blazer dropped onto the floor, and Veronica was guided over to the bed, her heart racing faster with each footstep. She slipped her shoes off and lay down onto the noticeably soft mattress, before Heather climbed on top of her, straddling her hips.

“You seem nervous,” she teased. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just…” She bit her lip. “This… this is all very new to me.”

Heather looked surprised at first, though it was soon replaced by a sultry look.

“I see. So you’ve never done this before, have you, Sawyer?” Heather gazed down at her, holding a devious smirk that made Veronica shudder with anticipation.

“No…” she murmured sheepishly. “No, this would be my first time.”

“Well then, today’s your lucky day,” Heather chuckled darkly, leaning forward and nipping along the side of her neck, making her squirm. “Usually I wouldn’t give a nobody like you this sort of privilege.”

“Is that so?” Veronica threw back, her back arching into the hand slowly, teasingly, over her chest and down her stomach. “You must expect me to thank you.”

“Oh, I expect more than that from you, Sawyer,” she sneered, running her hand along the waistband of her skirt. The tip of her nail tickled her skin. It was the most exquisite torture, and Veronica bit back a whine. She wouldn’t give Heather the satisfaction quite yet. “I expect you to get down on your knees and _beg for it.”_

“Cocky,” Veronica quipped, feeling a rush of heat flood through her body as she listened to her talk in her low, alluring voice.

“Not necessary for this, now, is it?” Heather replied with an impish grin, snaking a hand down Veronica’s body and hooking her long nails around the band of her skirt. She stopped wasting so much time stalling, pulling it down her legs and tossing it aside.

Veronica snorted. “You’re not wrong.”

“Of course I’m not wrong,” Heather scoffed, reaching up to unbutton Veronica’s shirt, “Ready for the ride of your life, Sawyer?”

“Wasn’t aware you intended for me to be riding anything,” Veronica said, “But I’m definitely not complaining about… any of this.”

Heather grinned, her lips curling upwards at the ends in that same way she did whenever she was about to royally fuck someone’s life up. With any luck, Veronica would only be getting “royally fucked” tonight.

Veronica felt the shirt being pushed off her shoulders and watched as Heather threw it over her shoulder, uncaring of where it ended up, followed quickly by Heather pulling Veronica’s undershirt over her head and sending it to join the button-up on the floor.

“This feels unbalanced,” Veronica said, gesturing between herself and Heather, who sat fully clothed in front of her, “Are you the only one who gets a show?”

“That depends, do you _want_ a show?” Heather asked, a brow quirking up. Veronica found her eyes glued to the finger slowly tracing the edge of the top button of her shirt.

“It only seems fair,” Veronica said. Heather scoffed at her.

“Have I ever been accused of playing _fair,_ Veronica?” she taunted. “Come on, tell me how you _really_ feel.”

Veronica huffed her as she reluctantly said, “I wouldn’t mind if you stripped.”

Heather rolled her eyes, and the hands on her shirt dropped, to Veronica’s chagrin. “You _wouldn’t mind?_ Tell me you _want it,_ Veronica.”

Huffing indignantly, Veronica tried again, “I would _love_ to see more of you, Heather.”

A smirk crept onto Heather’s red lips. “Much better.” Her hands climbed back to the top of her shirt, and she began to undo each button _painfully_ slow. As each one popped open, more and more of her skin became visible, and Veronica realised that the only piece of clothing hiding underneath was a cherry red satin bra.

“Would you take your clothes off faster if I asked nicely?” Veronica asked, smiling innocently at her.

Heather hummed. “Someone’s eager.”

“Maybe I just wanna see if your panties match the bra you’re wearing.”

“Or maybe you just want to see me without them?” Heather tantalized.

Veronica laughed. “Trust me, everyone in school who’s attracted to women has wanted to see you like that at some point.”

“And what makes you special from the rest?” Heather questioned.

“I plan to savor it,” Veronica said, “You’ve given me a once in a lifetime chance here. I’m not gonna ruin it by being impatient. Besides, the process of getting naked is pretty sexy, too, and I wanna appreciate that.”

Heather gazed down at her fondly. “You have a way with words, Sawyer.”

“I’m actually so nervous right now you have no idea,” Veronica said.

“Relax,” Heather cooed as she undid the last of her buttons and slipped her shirt off her arms. “Once I get started with you, you’ll have nothing to fret over.”

She then slid out of her skirt and tossed it aside, leaving her almost completely exposed to Veronica. It was far from a disappointing sight; her figure was completely on show with no clothing in the way, her cleavage in full view and her curves on display, and Jesus Christ, Heather Chandler was hot as hell.

Veronica stared for a long moment, brows raised in disbelief and awe. “I completely underestimated how hot you’d look with just your underwear on.”

Heather laughed. “Is this just how you are when you’re nervous?”

Veronica nodded. “I’m sorry. I have absolutely no filter right now and you’re really pretty and I _really_ want to touch you and I’m gonna shut up now.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be patient,” Heather said. “I haven’t even gotten started with you.”

Veronica let out a disappointed whine. “But-”

“Ah-ah, I said wait.” She cut her off with a finger on her lips. “The sooner we get started, the sooner I _might_ let you touch me.”

Veronica pouted and mumbled something under her breath.

“So _needy,_ honestly,” Heather said with an eye roll, before she leaned forward, her hands snaking around her back, which arched just by her touch. She was unsure as to what she was doing, but the curiosity kept her entertained. That is, until she realised those hands were blindly feeling around just below her shoulder blades.

“Uh… not that your hands on me aren’t hot as fuck, because they are,” Veronica said, “But what’s got you so fixated on that spot?”

Heather stared at her blankly. “I’m _trying_ to unclasp your bra.”

Veronica bit back the urge to laugh. “Heather… I’m wearing a sports bra. You don’t… _unclasp_ it.”

Heather remained still for a very embarrassed moment, before her hands shot off her and instead grabbed her bra by the sides.

“Right,” she muttered, her cheeks growing a little red.

“Okay, so that’s happening now, apparently,” Veronica said, “I was originally trying to get you to let me undress you the rest of the way, but this works too, I guess.”

“You first,” Heather insisted. “I want to finish what I started, Sawyer.”

“Oh, you can finish me all you want,” Veronica teased.

Heather snickered. “You’re lucky you’re cute or that might’ve been a total mood-killer.” She slipped her bra over her head and flung it aside. Her eyes trailed down to her bare chest, her gaze filled with lust that was _incredibly_ arousing, before a hand landed on one of her breasts.

“ _Ow._ ”

Heather’s hand jolted away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! You just squeezed a little too hard,” Veronica reassured, before leaning into her touch again. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Heather slowly nodded, quickly regaining her confidence, before placing her palm on her breast again. For a moment, she did nothing, and Veronica began to wonder what exactly she was trying to achieve, until she finally moved her hand again.

Her palm pressed her tit down until it was flat, before moving it in a circular motion.

“Okay, what are you doing now?” Veronica asked, trying desperately to keep the note of annoyance out of her voice.

Heather looked at her, confused. “...Teasing you?” She removed her hand. “What did you _think_ I was doing?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.”

Heather narrowed her gaze at her, and Veronica wondered if she’d said something wrong.

“Look, I’m taking it _slow,_ okay? Since you’re so _new_ to all of this.” There was something underlying in her tone that sounded… different to how she had been speaking up until now.

Something _uncertain._

“You don’t need to go slow, Heather,” Veronica promised. “If it gets overwhelming, I’ll tell you, alright? I’m not made of glass.”

“Right. Obviously.” Heather’s gaze dropped to her chest again, and leaned her head down. For a moment, she hesitated, before her tongue landed far down on her tit, licking a wet stripe along the center of her boob. Her tongue briefly ran over her nipple, but it was far too light and lasted maybe half a second before she continued all the way across the length of her breast.

“That wasn’t _too_ much to handle, was it?” Heather teased, looking up at her through her lashes. Veronica could only stare at her, a little dumbfounded.

“I… um… no,” she eventually replied. “Not to be rude or anything, but I… didn’t feel anything?”

Heather’s sultry look disappeared.

“Oh.” She pursed her lips. “So… I take it you like it rough?”

“I’m not opposed to that idea, no.”

“Perfect.”

Heather grinned excitedly, before returning her attention back to her chest. Her mouth landed on her nipple, and _finally_ , Veronica felt something she could lean into, that is, up until-

_“Ow!”_

Heather jolted away.

“What _now?_ ”

Veronica took a moment to recover from the sharp pain she had just endured.

“I’m okay!” she announced. “I just didn’t expect it.”

Heather looked at her doubtfully. “I thought you said you liked it rough.”

“Well, yeah, I just… not to the point where I think you’re gonna bite my nipple off. Reality doesn’t always play out like fantasies do.” She gave her a sympathetic look. “If this is too difficult, I could always try and-”

“It’s not _difficult!_ ” Heather snapped. “Who do you take me for, Sawyer?”

“If you’re sure…” Veronica mumbled.

“Of course I’m sure,” she said.

Veronica got the strong sense that Heather was fucking with her. In all her legendary pettiness, she was probably trying to “punish” Veronica for that stunt at the party.

Well, two could play at this game.

If Heather wanted to make this a disappointing experience, then Veronica wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

It seems Heather had given up on “teasing” her with her tits, and was instead lowering herself down to the only part of her with clothes on. She pulled her boxer briefs down, exposing her entirely which, admittedly, _was_ still arousing to her, despite... _everything..._ and her mouth travelled along her inner thighs up until she reached the center.

Her tongue landed on… maybe… half way down her vulva and a little to the left? Veronica couldn’t exactly tell, since it was so hard to feel it.

“You okay down there?” Veronica asked, staring up at the ceiling as she waited for any sort of pleasure to come to her… at all.

“...Yeth?” Heather replied, her tongue still sticking out. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason,” Veronica said. “Just making sure.” _She’s absolutely fucking with me. And not in the fun way._

Her tongue flickered around her vulva completely aimlessly for a while, only occasionally landing on her clit by _chance_ , before it eventually slipped a little further down. Her interest was somewhat aroused, and she finally looked back down to see what she was doing. From what it felt like, she was _trying_ to slip her tongue into her vagina, but it seems her aim was a little off.

“You lose something in there?” _Like your sense of direction, maybe?_

“No?” Heather looked up at her, a little annoyed. Veronica shot her a faux smile.

“Take your time. I’m not trying to rush this by any means,” Suddenly, a thought occurred, and she smiled, before continuing, “It’s just so _good._ ”

A prideful grin could be seen on Heather’s mouth, before it was buried between her thighs yet again to return to her Search For Veronica’s Vaginal Entrance, Part ??? Goddamn This Movie Is So Long.

 _Eventually_ , thank God, Heather managed to find the entrance. Perhaps Veronica would have genuinely found it pleasurable, if she actually had any sort of lubricant to let her in any further. She thanked her time in the drama club for helping her in her time of need and did her best to recall what she remembered of that one scene from _When Harry Met Sally._

“Oh _fuck,_ ” she breathed out, purposely loud, her hand finding Heather’s hair. “Yeah, like _that_.”

She heard Heather chuckle proudly at her reaction, and Veronica had to suppress her laughter.

“Oh, you like that?” Heather said.

“Yeah, keep doing it.”

“With pleasure.”

And so… she did. She dipped her tongue inside her, then out again, and then in. Surely she was being purposeful, with how _little_ she was getting in there, and with how she flicked her tongue back and forth against her walls on occasion, as if that would do anything at all. _Surely._

And so Veronica kept her facade up. She continued to moan, continued to say Heather’s name and placed both her hands on her head as some sort of reassurance that she was _definitely_ enjoying this, and to her surprise, Heather eventually stopped with all the attention she was giving to her entrance (not even vagina… just her entrance) and licked up the length of her vulva.

And then-

“ _OW!_ ” she yelped, unable to keep up her fake moans. How _could_ she, when someone bites down on your fucking _clitoral hood?_

“What?” Heather looked up at her with concern. The pain faded, and Veronica just deadpanned at the ceiling.

 _She was almost right,_ she thought bitterly. _I would have actually gotten_ something _out of this, had there been no fucking teeth involved._

“Just… go back to whatever it was you were doing.” She pushed her head back down to her entrance. Being bored was much better than being in pain.

She let Heather play around down there for a little while, before the boredom _really_ hit. _Alright,_ she thought, _It’s showtime._

She tightly gripped onto her ginger curls, squeezed her eyes shut and let out a loud moan, her voice echoing off the walls of Heather’s stupidly large room, bucking her hips forward and keeping her back arched for a prolonged amount of time, before finally letting herself slump onto the bed, as though all her energy was drained, panting like she was winded from the exertion.

Heather lifted her head and gazed down at her, satisfied. One thing Veronica noted was how her chin… wasn’t glistening as much as it should have been.

_Is that moisture your saliva or my body throwing a pity party for you?_

“Is _that_ what a girl looks like when she comes?” she said, genuine surprise evident in her tone. Veronica looked at her in confusion.

“...Yeah?” She shot her a questioning look. “You’ve never seen that happen before?”

Heather blinked at her. “Am I meant to have?”

Veronica, staring at her dumbfounded, sat up.

“If you have all this sexual prowess, yes?” She then eyed her up and down. “So what, are you just real quiet during sex?”

Heather tilted her head. “What are you talking about?”

“When you come.”

“I don’t come.”

Veronica gave her a weird look.

“I’m sorry?”

Heather shrugged. “What? Not many girls out there do. You’re clearly just the minority.”

“What stats are _you_ reading?” Veronica asked, “Most people with vulvas can come.”

Heather gave her a confused look. “That’s not a lot of people. It’s not a very popular type of car.”

Veronica could do nothing but deadpan at her, completely bewildered at what she was hearing, and it was then that the realisation properly hit her.

 _Was… was all of that genuine?_ She thought with a feeling of dread. _Was she not fucking with me? All of that was_ real?

“Heather?”

“What?”

“What is the name for this?” Veronica asked, gesturing at her vulva.

Heather raised an eyebrow. “The vagina…?”

“The _whole_ thing.”

“...The vagina.”

Veronica grimaced “The vagina is _this_ part, Heather.” She pointed at her entrance. “That’s where you were.”

Heather stared at her vulva in confusion. “Yeah? And?”

Veronica pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Heather, _this,”_ she gestured again to her vulva, “The external part, is called a _vulva. V-U-L-V-A._ ”

Heather blinked. “Really?”

“Yes, _really._ ” She then took a moment to lament the state of American sex education. “Now, what about _this?_ ” She pointed to her clitoris.

Heather squinted. “What am I looking at?”

Veronica let out a long-suffering sigh. “That’s called a clitoris, Heather.”

 _“What_ is?”

 _“This.”_ She parted her labia and ran a finger over the little nub. “It’s the main way most people with vulvas come. Some can come from penetration, but many can’t.”

Heather looked back down at her vaginal entrance. “So… you can?”

Veronica winced.

“Yeah… uhh… you see, um… about that…”

“What?”

Veronica nervously laughed. “So, have you ever seen _When Harry Met Sally?”_

Heather shook her head, eyeing her suspiciously. Veronica held her breath as she built up the courage to confess.

“Okay, so…” She winced, “It’s a movie, and in it, at one point, Harry and Sally are discussing Harry’s sex life and Sally insinuates he can’t tell when a woman is just pretending to have an orgasm, so he doesn’t actually know if he’s bad in bed.”

“Okay…”

“So… she demonstrates… and it’s pretty convincing…”

“Just spit it out.”

Veronica swallowed thickly. “I faked it.”

Heather fell silent. She held Veronica’s gaze for a while, her expression unreadable. All confidence she had in herself before had vanished without a trace, and Veronica was left sitting there awkwardly, her own guilt slowly eating her up inside (much better than Heather had.)

“Heather…” she tried to close the gap between them, but Heather recoiled from her outstretched hand.

“Why?” she muttered. Veronica grimaced guiltily.

“I… I wouldn’t have done it if I had known, I just…” She stared at her hands. “Thought you were fucking with me the whole time.”

 _“What!”_ Heather barked, making Veronica jump. “Oh, so I was _that_ bad, huh?”

Veronica winced.

“Oh.” Heather’s shoulders slumped. “Oh…”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Heather, I just-”

“You should go,” Heather grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Veronica frowned. “Heather…” She wanted to argue, to plead her case, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good if Heather wasn’t ready to hear it. “Alright. If that’s what you need.”

She gathered up her clothes and quickly got dressed, the whole time not able to catch Heather’s eye. Each time she looked her way she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, but there was little she could do in that moment. Once she was completely clothed, she sauntered towards the door, but before making her leave, she gave her one last look over her shoulder.

“You were pretty good at the foreplay, though,” she murmured. “I’ll give you that.”

Heather didn’t respond. She still wasn’t looking at her, and eventually, she gave up, and left her alone.

**Author's Note:**

> woah what's this ??? i (helped) wrote an au that isn't TAG ??? the audacity
> 
> mars and i have wanted to collab for a while now, then yesterday in a call somehow we started talking about an au where Chandler *wasn't* good at sex, unlike every heathers au ever. we thought it was funny enough to make it into an actual au and so here we are.  
> -gale
> 
> please send me asks  
> -mars
> 
> https://heathersgameoftag.tumblr.com/
> 
> https://marshalls-scribbles.tumblr.com/


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